this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 46 comments
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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

This deserves more upvotes.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 142 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Violence baguettes violence.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 147 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh wow, I've never seen a stabaguette before!

[–] Lulzagna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[–] ooterness@lemmy.world 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A bread knife must have teeth

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They never said it was a good bread knife.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Fair enough have a good day ahead.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 56 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Why modify it? .... a good hard crusty baguette is deadly enough. If you crack it just right, the sharp edges are hard enough to cut open skin and flesh.

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A baguette becomes a lethal blunt instrument about 7 seconds after you buy it.

[–] SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 1 day ago

"The food here is..."

THWACK THWACK THWACK

"...weapons-grade."

[–] Ryktes@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

Shit, you get one with a good enough crust and it'll club a motherfucker into the ground like a fence post.

[–] borokov@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I know a guy that nearly lost its thumb because of a baguette. A piece of the crust stuck under its nail. He didn't paid attention at first, but it begins to become infected and necrotic. Ended up in the hospital for surgery and antibiotics.

Never underestimate the baguette.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Take two baguettes. Cut one in half and carve a slot inside of it. Carve the other with a protrusion in the form of a knife to go into the slot. Harden in the oven while using garlic butter with fine herbs to create a razor edge. Sharpen with a whetstone.

Then you can not only stab cops but soften it up in soup and eat the evidence.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

mmmmm ... radicalization and violence never sounded so delicious

Cop gets stabbed in the arm .... 'OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN STABBED ... ???? .... ooooo, garlic butter!'

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

So you can dual wield.

Baguette.

Breaguette knife.

Akimbo

The one positive thing you could say about the bread products around him was that they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. Forged was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon

[–] sdcSpade@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 days ago

Add a gun and it's a Bayoguette.

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

the baguette outfit in clair obscur finally makes sense

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 4 points 1 day ago

It always made sense.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Baguette! Haa haarrr grr!

Baguette!

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Remember this meme: "you mess with Ratatouille, you get Stabatouille".

Mmm, this one has got quite a sharp taste. I'll take three.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 32 points 2 days ago

Somebody touch my baguette!

[–] Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 29 points 2 days ago

Wait til that "assault with a deli weapon" guy hears about this

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

hon hon homicide

[–] Guilvareux@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago

That’s sure to get a rise outta the police

[–] brap@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

Hon hon hon

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

I never leave my house without my tactical assault baguette!

[–] chelatna@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 days ago

stabuette a little with my baguette

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Were they riding a bicycle with a basket in front?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 10 points 2 days ago

There were shuriken in the croissants as well

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

That is aggressively French

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

The French have mastered protest and revolution.

Portable Guillotine. I love quick access revolté tools.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I love that they gave it a crumb as well.

[–] gbzm@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Une graine dans le bocal piment" ?

[–] falcunculus@jlai.lu 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

https://www.reuters.com/article/world/fact-check-knife-concealed-in-baguette-is-from-french-novelty-shop-not-weapon-c-idUSKBN2781KE/

the photo was taken at the shop Chaise Longue, a chain which specialises in humorous and original collections of household items and gifts. The product, called “Baguette knife” can be seen on the Chaise Longue website.

A price label is clearly visible next to the baguette in one of the pictures shared on social media saying “Une graine dans le bocal piment” (“A seed in the jar – chilli”), which is the name of a Chaise Longue product. It is a jar of chilli seeds, which is part of a range of different types of seeds in jars.

[–] gbzm@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

Merci pour Le fact-check

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Picnic-ready, self-contained baguette. Comes with a way to cut it. The other end (off camera) contains foil-wrapped cheese wedges.

Pain vraiment complet.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

plausible deniability: I was just cutting a baguette (to be read in French accent)