Edit: I can’t believe I have to add this, but this is a joke and is not real. 🤦♂️
Source (Nitter)
I'm pretty sure no one misses the Windows troubleshooter
this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2026
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Is this real or a joke? Because honestly I’d believe it.
It's a joke. Their real method nowadays is just asking AI to generate bug free code and then using it without any validation
You fool! You have to ask the LLM for bug free secure code, or it will be riddled with security vulnerabilities!
Did you tell it to not make any mistakes, and double check its work, and write valid, comprehensive integration tests and stand up a development environment, and make a team of QA agents to verify that the development environment is running correctly?
Not doing that is a recipe for disaster. Oh, and tell it to make backups.
The joke seems more efficient tho
That has never stopped MAIcrosoft before
It's a joke, but the fact is that the diagnose button only searches event logs and windows system logs for errors against only a small dictionary of problems.
This is exactly why Microsoft has been playing with a locally installed nano AI driven fix it utility for future updates: the current one sucks.
edit link:
To be fair it'll also reset adapters/devices by disabling and reenabling them, which can help with basic issues.
Ngl in the last 15 years I have unfortunately been using windows the troubleshooting function never worked, not even once. And it's not like I didn't have issues, there were plenty; plenty stupid ones as well.
It's a joke: they'd never return a sensible exit code.
If it’s a joke, it’s not terribly far from the truth.
If this was nottheonion I wouldn't be surprised
Have you run the compatibility troubleshooter in win11? It works reasonably well but it's a laughably stupid process. It asks you which application is having problems, then displays the first ~10 apps, alphabetically. If it's not there, you have to click a button to see the next 10 apps. Scroll, click, scroll, click, and so on until it shows the app you're looking for.
Why not just give a full list??? Or let the user start typing and bring up relevant entries? Oh, right. Microslop search functions are embarrassingly bad. Clicking through the list is better, I guess.
The Walmart shopping app does this, too. With a cart full of upwards of 200 items, (we shop infrequently, so the list is big by the time we do), it infuriates the hell out of my spouse and I. I won't even get into how random and haphazard the items are ordered (and it's not due to the order we selected things).
Almost certainly intentional. If you can't find what you want to remove from your cart, you can't remove it.
ORDER BY product.id
-- ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
Last month Apple released their developer keynote (WWDC26) where they acknowledged their search function doesn't work well. Obviously they were saying it now because they were releasing a fix but it was comical to hear them essentially say "have you ever searched in mail or finder for something you know is there, and search just can't find it, yeah that shit happens to all of us" lol
I have seen the Windows diagnostic tool accurately identify and fix an issue once.
And that was way the fuck back on Windows XP.
Im surprised that they did not use ai for that, knowing how much they like it.
Explains why it responds/opens so quickly. Tight coding.
Quickly? 50,000 seconds is 13 hours, 53 minutes and 20 seconds
edit: aaahhh. ms not s. stupid windows
Sleep is in seconds for Linux/UNIX, but milliseconds on Windows. 50,000 ms is 50 seconds.
Those are ms - so 50 seconds
Opens when you press it. Not finds a solution. Never has found a solution.
It worked one time for me back in Windows XP and I've been chasing that dragon ever since
Color me shocked. 🙄 Microslop definitely earned its rep.