this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] x00z@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think this has nothing to do with it being a sauna and more about "Girl with real good body, tits and butt" which means OP was already staring and moaning under his breath.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People like this don't realize how much creepiness they ooze without saying a word.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

for sure. i like to stare into nothing as i think my deep thoughts, and it skeeves people out a lot especially within a 20ft radius.

once you're 21ft away though, it's totally cool and uncreepy.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

I also wonder, if he had said something normal immediately after entering it probably would have been fine. Imagine sitting in silence next to someone for 10 minutes and then they ask you a question. That's weirder to me.

"I'm a sleazy fuckin creep, where did I go wrong?!"

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I think it's because she could see his erection.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

c/bigdickproblems

[–] Varesti@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 day ago

TIL tits and butt are not part of the body.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 64 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Here's the "rule": The first time you speak to someone they should be fully clothed, unless there is a clothing malfunction you are attempting to resolve and that requires spoken communication.

It's fine to make friends at the gym, tho that's not what I'm ever there for. It's fine to talk in the sauna, to people you are already on speaking terms with. It's not okay to see someone in the sauna, appreciate their body, and use that as motivation to talk to them for the first time.

[–] Frostbeard@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Only things said to strangers in a gym:

You finished with that, or can I go in between?

Can you spot me?

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also, always assume your intentions are transparent as glass even before you open your mouth. People can see and tell why you're talking to them. I hate that this is something's I learnt through trial and error.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Complete disagree. I've been accused of intentions I didn't have and ascribed intentions to others that didn't have them. Even in face-to-face communications, we are really just guessing at intent and it is often quite opaque.

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

In case of OOP, any attempt to hide only makes it weirder.

I agree with you though. But for people like oop it's better they keep this assumption

[–] alsimoneau@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

A "do you mind if I pour some water on the stones?" Is a good opener. Then you wait for them to engage. If they don't, so be it.

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago

Well that's just practical. It's exempt from the rule.

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[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not true, you may address anyone at any point in the sauna if you bend over, spread your ass cheeks and lip sync every word you say with your anus.

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[–] atro_city@fedia.io 40 points 2 days ago (3 children)

People talk in the sauna? I thought that was a nono

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It seems the rest of the world has decided that saunas need to be quiet, when the actual Finnish thing is a social event. You have a beer, sometimes a sausage on the oven. I don't know what the point of a stfu wellness sauna in a gym is.

[–] Frostbeard@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Its social with people you know everywhere. Randos in a public sauna stay quite

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

People have told me and my friend to be silent twice before when we were talking in a respectful quiet tone, not even addressing anyone else.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

At my local it's like a fucking pub in there. Yapping away. I wish they would all just shit up and sweat silently

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[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

In places I've been to, yeah.

I'm not interested in making small talk while trying to unlock all my chakras points and reach my final form.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 75 points 2 days ago

She was absolutely looking to leave as soon as this guy schlubbed in to look over her "good body, tits, and butt". The attempt at conversation was just the opening she needed to escape.

[–] myyass@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Heh I miss saunas. I grew up with them. Perfect bonding experience. As in stfu and meditate.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are there places without saunas?

Every major city in America has a spa or even gym that have saunas or stream rooms. Or mountain retreats..

[–] myyass@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Well there is one nearby me at the ymca but ... the membership is like a $100 a month. I can't afford that right now.

[–] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 228 points 2 days ago (1 children)

She probably noticed him OGLING HER based on the description he just gave

[–] B1tch_Pudding@lemmy.zip 86 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (8 children)

Saunas are sacred shit. It's like a gay bar, if you want to not be seen as a pest you 100% must stop acting like a moid when you enter. And some people just don't want to be spoken to

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[–] nanometer1625@thelemmy.club 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm imagining this as a sitcom In which the scene cuts after anon's mouth opens, but just before words come out.

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago

You smell that?

OP after releasing a stream of whey farts for the past 10 minutes.

[–] FlexibleToast@lemmy.world 80 points 2 days ago (8 children)

I would say the gym is absolutely not where people go to make friends, but apparently the younger generation does use it for that. That kind of blows my mind, but it's certainly healthier than going to a bar to meet people.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 40 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Any place you go regularly can become a place to make friends.

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[–] bstix@feddit.dk 33 points 2 days ago (6 children)

It's not difficult.

Shut the door. Shut up. Sit down and keep your mouth shut.

You are allowed to aks "löyly?" and yell "Shut the door!" at appropriate times, but otherwise just shut the fuck up.

[–] GoalPostGhost@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 days ago (5 children)

That's not really true, or it might be in some parts of the world.

However, in the land of the Sauna, that is the place to talk. It's where you ask someone to be your best man. It's where you ask your boss a raise. It's where you agree on a business deal, or maybe to set up a monopoly with your competitors. And you best abide by these words: Never enter a Sauna sober, nor without a drink.

Never been to a womens Sauna, but I expect them to do something naughty as they don't allow us guys there...

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[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I didn't know about the no speaking rules in Saunas. I would think that should be a sign but there easily could have been and anon didn't read.

It would already be creepy if the first thing he asked was where she lived; however the line "Well I decided to talk to her and ask where she's from" can imply that he spoke, got no response, then kept yapping.

Furthermore, the fact he's complaining about how what he did was not "really that bad" without acknowledging he broke a rule, tells me that he knew what he was doing but decided to break that rule because he's not "really that bad".

All that said, I'd probably break that rule to crack a one-liner like the reply, because dumb jokes are my favorite.

[–] remon@ani.social 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I've never seen any no speaking rules in Germany but "no flirting" is very much an implied rule and the way anon describes her has having a "good body, tits and butt" he probably might have been creepy before even saying anything.

I'm not a big sauna guy and thus mostly was there with my girlfriend. And in the setting where you're there with a partner, causal small talk with strangers was quite normal. I think it heavily depends on being able to read the room.

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[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 37 points 2 days ago

Is it naked I here or is that just you

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 59 points 2 days ago (15 children)

In Germany everyone is naked in the sauna. It's a rule. Ok, you might wear a sauna hat, but that's it.

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