this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Zier@fedia.io 7 points 1 hour ago

Public key: b26Stop543looking957at140me8339when8709Im10114naked73856 Private Key: Oh SnAp!

[–] shiftymccool@piefed.ca 20 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Should be private ssh key and public ip address. public key can be derived if necessary and it does you no good to have a key to an unknown door

[–] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 1 points 15 minutes ago (1 children)

If you only know private key and not public key then isn't it the same as only knowing public key? I thought those were interchangeable

[–] coriza@lemmy.world 2 points 3 minutes ago

I thought that too but they are not. I discovered that recently learning and configuring wireguard.

[–] glibg10b@lemmy.zip 36 points 4 hours ago (3 children)
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
b3BlbnNzaC1rZXktdjEAAAAABG5vbmUAAAAEbm9uZQAAAAAAAAABAAAAMwAAAAtzc2gtZW
QyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7AAAAJAHHAUZBxwF
GQAAAAtzc2gtZWQyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7A
AAAEAHVmMS+9A6uhD6r6iUAxubrNuS2lx4CPayJ2B4hL8HNroE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7
GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6XsAAAACHdhbGRvQGhlAQIDBAU=
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----

***
PUBLIC KEY BELOW
***
ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAILoE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6Xs
[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 12 points 2 hours ago

Bit of a mouthful to say, but I'll go with it.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 33 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

What a coincidence! That's my cat's name.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 9 points 2 hours ago

I just call her whspsps instead

[–] Newsteinleo@infosec.pub 6 points 2 hours ago

I'm pretty sure this name is to long form my vets office database.

[–] blurry@feddit.org 18 points 5 hours ago

Please mark your territory by posting the hosts you have visited with your favorite cat name.

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 177 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----  
WhattheAAAAdidyoujustAAAAAAAsayaboutmeyoulittlebitch+IllhaveyouknowIg  
raduatedtopofmyclassintheNavySealsandIvebeeninvolvedinnumeroussecretr  
aidsonAl+QuaedaandIhaveover300confirmedkillsIamtrainedingorillawarfar  
eandImthetopsniperintheentireUSarmedforcesYouarenothingtomebutjustano  
thertargetIwillwipeyoutheAAAAoutwithprecisionthelikesofwhichhasneverb  
eenseenbeforeonthisEarthmarkmyAAAAAAAwordsYouthinkyoucangetawaywithsa  
yingthatshittomeovertheInternet+ThinkagainAAAAAAAswespeakIamcontactin  
gmysecretnetworkofspiesacrosstheUSAandyourIPisbeingtracedrightnowsoyo  
ubetterprepareforthestormmaggotThestormthatwipesoutthepatheticlittlet  
hingyoucallyourlifeYoureAAAAAAAdeadkidIcanbeanywhereanytimeandIcankil  
lyouinoversevenhundredwaysandthatsjustwithmybarehandsNotonlyamIextens  
ivelytrainedinunarmedcombatbutIhaveaccesstotheentirearsenaloftheUnite  
dStatesAAAAAACorpsandIwilluseittoitsfullextenttowipeyourmiserableasso  
ffthefaceofthecontinentyoulittleshitIfonlyyoucouldhaveknownwhatunholy  
retributionyourlittle/clever/commentwasabouttobringdownuponyoumaybeyo  
uwouldhaveheldyourAAAAAAAtongueButyoucouldntyoudidntandnowyourepaying  
thepriceyougoddamnidiotIwillshitfuryalloveryouandyouwilldrowninitYour  
eAAAAAAAdeadkiddo==  
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----  

EDIT: almost forgot to sign it!

Love,
/u/queerlilhayseed

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 60 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

hehe you have the word ass in your private key, what are the odds

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 82 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I insert swears into all my ssh keys so they get censored out by profanity filters. Good luck hacking me now, squares 😎🏍️🛹

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 14 points 2 hours ago

You should put in some Disney lyrics so they issue a takedown request if it leaks.

[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 9 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

The == had me wondering for too long

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 25 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Haha I started trying to format the text so that it was technically a valid ed25519 key, then it became too much work for a silly joke so I settled for filtering/replacing all the invalid chars and slapping the == padding at the end. Needs more AAAAAA strings to really sell it, I think, but I'm glad it turned out well enough to merit a second glance lol.

Edit: I swapped all instances of fuck|fucker|fucking with As, I think it's an improvement.

[–] Magnum@infosec.pub 10 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

It is very good - I will steal it.

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 37 minutes ago

Someone help I'm being hacked!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 11 points 4 hours ago

Now reverse engineer a matching public key.

[–] Trampampoline@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 hours ago

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW

[–] KickMeElmo@sopuli.xyz 85 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

Is it bad that this bothers me purely because the public key can be derived from the private key, so providing both is unnecessary?

[–] trashman@feddit.org 10 points 2 hours ago

I don't geht it. Can you explain it with your key as an example?

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Can you give me your private key so I can understand it better?

[–] one_old_coder@piefed.social 10 points 6 hours ago

Not bad, I had the same thought.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Little Satan hellper

[–] Shindo66@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, I have no idea what youre talking about

[–] lukalix98@programming.dev 2 points 2 hours ago

I think jokes on you x2 then.

[–] Alexica@lemmy.world 28 points 7 hours ago (2 children)
[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

lol, rsa in 2026.

[–] Scoopta@programming.dev 16 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

🤔 I do believe this is backwards, or you're Japanese

[–] Alexica@lemmy.world 12 points 4 hours ago

I’m dislexic. My friends call me Dislexica

[–] reader@lemmy.zip 26 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] undefinedTruth@lemmy.zip 11 points 6 hours ago

That's a private / pubic key pair.

[–] TheFunkyMonk@lemmy.world 30 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 8 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] jim_v@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

When you type your password all I see are stars.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 22 points 7 hours ago

Public: Ssssssshhhh!
Private: Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

[–] gressen@lemmy.zip 11 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Public key can be derived from private key.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 22 points 7 hours ago

right but why would I bother doing the extra work if I can just get it from you

[–] wopalopa@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

192.168.0.1 1.1.1.1

damn im cute

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 hours ago

Public: myPrivateKey_is
Private: PasswordProtected_so

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 2 points 7 hours ago

Pussy Oliver

how do I save as ssh keys is that part of apple key ring?