this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2026
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Strong...no?? 😭
Weak. Very, very weak (me).

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[–] decolo@piefed.social 39 points 4 days ago (3 children)

If someone hates men that's not my business, I get it and don't take it personally.

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I think hatred of all kinds is detrimental to humanity and the planet, but maybe thatsthat's just me.

[–] decolo@piefed.social 17 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Oh it absolutely is! And also, me getting offended every time I see someone who has had negative experience with men isn't going to do anything to fix that.

The right way to respond to someone who has been harmed by patriarchy, is to be empathetic but not make it about yourself. You can't argue someone out of abuse they may have suffered

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

When I meet someone who has negative experience with people of color who says they hate black people because of it, I call that person a racist.

It's really easy to wax poetically about inclusivity, and the importance of fighting hatred and and prejudice as concepts in a vacuum. The true challenge to those ideals is when reality happens and people are hurt. Is equality and inclusivity just an aesthetic? Something that makes you seem magnanimous whenever you extend your grace to people you perceive have less power than you? Or is it something real, something difficult, something that can withstand being tested?

Hatred is harmful to the person doing the hating, and harmful to society. TERF's exist as examples of how hating men can make the world worst place. They start by making excuses about how the power imbalance makes it pay to hate men, and yet because of the power imbalance the hatred seeks out the only target it can: trans women.

You are correct that you cannot argue people put of the abuse they have suffered. The challenge lies within each of us to look within ourselves and challenge our own prejudices, even the ones we might try to justify.

[–] SectoidLexi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago

TERFs don't hate men fyi. They hate trans people, specifically trans women. They actually love allying with sexist conservative men. Also consider the power involved in someone's hatred. If a white person hates black people it results in discrimination and violence because our society is white supremacist and specifically benefits white people for upholding anti black racism. If a black person hates white people it has virtually no effect on white people because our society is white supremacist. It's the same deal with women who hate men.

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[–] Godric@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Don't make this about yourself" is an odd response to "You shouldn't hate any category of person" :/

[–] decolo@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I agree that in the abstract, no category of person deserve hate. In the abstract, all categories of people are equally prone to the good and bad elements of human nature.

However, in the context of social interaction, you have to use empathy. I don't think hate is ever justified but on the other hand, social safety for anyone who isn't a straight, white, cisgender hetero normative male is not great right now.

it's not my place to judge the experience of someone with less privilege than me. That doesn't mean I agree with them or think it's fine to hate. I'm just not qualified to have that conversation.

[–] ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Have you seen what men are doing lately?

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

There are ~4,700,000,000 men alive on the planet, so sorry I haven't kept up with them all

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

That's pretty sexist to condemn an entire gender because of the actions of a vocal minority.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Abusers plus their enablers make up a majority. It's not all men but it's too fucking many.

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[–] ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's generalized enough to be a big fucking problem.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Shooting bystanders does not stop the attacker.

[–] SectoidLexi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago

"Bystanders" yeah that's something to call most men. They do be standing by while their brothers, fathers, and sons rape and kill women constantly. Doing fuck all about it. Encouraging it even.

[–] ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What a bullshit response to the generalized problem of toxic masculinity and rape culture, not to mention the patriarchy that enables it all.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Your reply is a common reply that is used to defend the criminlization of innocent men, quite often of men that support women in the fight against the patriarchy.

The people who don't care and are not affected by what you say are the enemy. The people who do and are are your allies.

Stop turning against your allies.

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[–] SectoidLexi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago (15 children)

I wouldn't call it a vocal minority. The majority of men treat women like dog shit. Just at different levels.

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[–] socsa@piefed.social 11 points 3 days ago

Yeah I mean I already hate myself so nbd honestly.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago

If it's a trauma thing I feel like they have the right.

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

doesn't hate men

Men show up to piss and moan about "misandry" unprompted.

Every man here who brought up misandry under this post, is taking part of the systemic oppression of women. You feel women are hating on you, because they are, because you are directly part of the problem.

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean...I really can't help but agree with that, even tho I know I'm gonna get shit for it lol

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This would be different than other things you do as a woman? 😆🫂🧡

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well damn girl 😭
That's completely true, but that was brutally honest, lol
Sad world we live in. Take care 🫂🩷

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Damned if you do, damned if you don't, so do what you feel💃🏽

Fuck em🐦‍🔥

I will dispute you at one point though and say the the world is beautiful and amazing.

The paperclip optimizer squeezing us to death surely is a horror though, which I figure is what you mean. I just thought it important to point out the the world itself is an unbelievably rare wonder, even in a place as vast and amazing as this universe.🌌💎

[–] starsoaked_lily@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

one of these is not like the others

i like your posts miisha, but this one feels a lil like a stab at other women in a way i don't love.
i have literally never in my whole life written the word pickme so breaking the seal on that for this one i guess

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

You know, actually you're right. Even just before posting this, I thought to myself this might be a bit offensive and I still posted it anyway. This is on me. I'll probably delete it when you read this, just so you know.
Also...I know this goes against the intentions of your comment, but getting called a pick me is pure gender euphoria, lol. Sorry, but that's my first time being called that and I'm really enjoying the moment.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ideal woman...

-Woman (optional)

-Fucks

-Pays half of rent.

Don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be.

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Okay, here goes...

-Woman (optional)

Check...

-Fucks

Very CHECK

-Pays half of rent.

...
😔

I failed

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Hey. That's ideal. I got fucking married for "occasionally" and "maybe 25%".

[–] VegOwOtenks@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Loyal & Independent... wait a minute

[–] KernelTale@programming.dev 31 points 4 days ago

I am waiting. I see no contradiction.

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 11 points 4 days ago

Can’t be truly loyal if you don’t have a choice

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 10 points 4 days ago

Just because someone dedicated themselves to a relationship it doesn't mean they're not independent - that capacity remains.

[–] Nouvellalia@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

I was so close

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

Had me in the first half

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