Pretty much, yup :(
this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2026
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thanks to the modern economics, it's not like there's many parties anyway and a drink in a bar costs more than my food for the whole day. plus we let big tech psychos convince us that the paid online dating trap is the way to go. the only people that cold approach me are street shysters and crackheads in the train station, and i like to be left alone in public, so i assume everyone else does too. you're probably out because you have stuff to do and not just walking around aimlessly, right?
then everyone in college already has their friend group, barging in feels like intruding. if you find someone you have stuff in common with and you don't have mainstream social media, you're likely dead to them. then you start a job and get locked in an office cubicle forever.
if you choose to play anyway, make sure you're not homosexual, or heavens forbid, trans or asexual. you'd be playing the game on hardmode!
The Redditor maneuver
I'm the type who when I'm not in a relationship long enough I start to think maybe I want one, but then I remember what it's like to be in one, and remind myself not to be so delusional. I'm very much happier being 'alone'. Not that I'm actually alone. I have non-romantic relationships. I will admit having two incomes would be nice tho.
My partner of 16 years basically told a mutual friend that she liked me and then the friend did all the logistical stuff.
Lucky.
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Hey, I was raised on the premise that women want to be left alone and be independent which taught me that there is no environment or time where an approach would be appreciated. In return I assumed that in time and when ready, they would be the ones to initiate. Guess they really haven't held up their end of the bargain. Or maybe I'm just a dumb fool for assuming that.
When they say they want to dismantle gender roles, they only mean the gender roles that they perceive as disadvantageous for them. They still want men to perform the gender roles that are disadvantageous for men.
Taking the risk of making the first move is just one example. They don't want that responsibility, they just want guys who aren't attractive to them to stop trying to make a first move. Might as well rephrase it as "Just give up, loser. No one will ever love you" because that's basically the sentiment that's hiding behind "stop approaching women," especially when it's followed up with something like "why won't men notice me?"
That's a lie. You never know a result of approaching. She might be not in mood or crazy or friendly. You are not doing bad things by approaching. You are not r aping her. Just approach and if you don't like her personality back off
You are not doing bad things by approaching.
I thing you and I have vastly different experiences with rejection.
I may be getting downvoted for this but women do want to be approached, you just have to have 400 IQ and make it work.
As an autistic person I already fail because I cannot read their expressions, but some women will do things like touch your forearms or smile a lot at you. These signals like any other needs careful thinking because some women just like to play and flirt.
Women in 2026 do not want to feel like they're being preyed on, having a welcoming but safe body language is an extremely difficult game.
I think our societal norms for dating will shift as no one likes the dating apps, who knows what's next.
If you're autistic and you fail at reading facial expressions, study them, academically. Like, find papers on this, read up on it.
Its more to do with microexpressions and minor details, and the underlying mechanisms of anatomy and how emotions affect the human body.
Think of the difference between a real smile, where the upper cheeks and lower/outer eyes shift upward along with the smile, vs a fake/forced smile that only involves the mouth.
Think about how a major difference between dogs and wolves is that dogs, as our human partners, literally evolved more eyebrow muscles to be able to communicate their emotional state to us more effectively.
Its not that you can't read expressions, its that your model for doing so is wrong, its too simplistic.
You don't need a 400 IQ, you just need patience and humility. Its not a one size fits all perfect rule set that works 100% the same on every different person, but we are all human, with fundamentally the same basic anatomy and physiological wiring.
Nah, I'm full on defensive and guarded until very clear words are said
I mean, absolutely fair, I'm just trying to say this is a thing you can study independently, and then when you're ready, have as a kind of improved toolset for evaluating social interactions.
Though I also totally understand just being fucking traumatized by normies seemingly expecting you to read their minds and then getting angry at you for not being able to do so.
I'm autistic too, it has been a struggle, lol.
Not trying to pressure you into more immediate, complex social interactions, no, not if you are not comfortable with that.
I'm saying its a thing you can read up on, alone, independent study kind of thing. Gradually, eventually useful, when you are ready.
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I'm not going to make another person suffer through a relationship with me. I'm horrrible and very difficult to be with!
See there's the mistake. You're capable of enough self analysis to understand you're flawed. Like 60% of people just aren't capable of that and are actual shit.
I'm a parent.
Kids activities are awash with lonely single parents.
I harass cashiers until they fall in love with me.
This was how I got my ex boyfriend and my currently... more than friends less than lovers chick.
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