I suggest we just float Ted Cruz. The destination doesn't really matter as long as he's floating away. Space maybe? A ridiculous number of balloons?
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On the Potomac river, maybe. Would need to empty him or wait a few days after throwing him in first, though.
Idk, that sounds harmful to the river.
A new low for the kakistocracy.
Ted Cruz AND Nikki Minaj... what a fucked up time to be alive.
Another reason to make sure Dems win the Senate in the midterms.
not in this lifetime
I can only imagine what Clarence's demands for retirement are. 9 figures minimum with a better RV than the one Colbert offered.
~~Colbert~~ offered
John Oliver
~~John Oliver~~
English Colbert
Live action Zazu.
Does a position on the Supreme Court offer discount flight prices to Cancun for when you get heat for your job? Asking on behalf of a shitty Texas senator.
I thought Texas' problem was lack of heat?
What heat? Justices are appointed for life and don't have to answer to anyone anymore apparently.
joking that the Texas Republican senator's confirmation would earn unanimous Senate support because senators from both parties would like to see him gone.
Hate him or really hate him, sometimes he says shit that's funny. It's amazing how he has absolutely shit on Ted Cruz in particular, and Cruz just continues sucking up.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb with Ted Cruz? 1 because no one else is there to help.
I get what you were going for but that portrays Cruz in a positive light and the people refusing to help negatively.
Please forgive my sin. You're right.
Maybe "how does Ted Cruz change a lightbulb? He books a flight to Cancun." Or something lol
"how does Ted Cruz change a lightbulb in a winter storm"
It doesn't get changed, he's in Cancun.
Why it was critical to elect Dems, the court is fucked due to ignorance. From Socrates to Sagan, they warned about this with a population that can't think critically, just stuck in dualism. Ubi dubium ibi libertas!
Fucking do it.
Everyone in the Federal government hates Cruz, it's been the one issue everyone agrees on across the aisle
If trump puts Cruz on the SC, it virtually guarantees a 2/3 majority to drastically overhaul the SC, and motivate everyone to get it done, just to get rid of Cruz.
Cruz gotta get 51 votes in the Senate where everyone hates him to be confirmed tho.
You don’t think he can get 51 votes to leave the senate?
Like a "fuck you, gtfo" vote for a lifetime appointment to the supreme court. Lol., no I didn't think of that.
joking that the Texas Republican senator's confirmation would earn unanimous Senate support because senators from both parties would like to see him gone.
I fucking resent that he made a joke that was actually funny 😡
Reason number 86,384,028 why dems need to take the senate this year. Rs would support this, even if nobody likes Cruz, because they’d be terrified of what MAGAts would do to them if they voted against the president’s nominee.
Someday someone is going to punch Ted cruz in the face and it will be the most watched video on the internet.
Punch him right in the face with a 12ga slug.
JFC the US is cooked.
Well, now we have an exact valuation on what Ted Cruz thinks his wife is worth.
Gross.
Oh god I hope he dies in a fire before that
Fingers crossed Diaper Don won't get to appoint any more justices after the midterms.
Just more confirmation that everything Trump does is revenge against America for making him kill Epstein to keep everything quiet.
Wow if I was on the Supreme Court atm I would be worried. "Future vacancy" uttered by fascists sounds like a threat.
He already put the high priest of Nurgle in charge of public health. Why not put the Zodiac Killer on the Supreme Court?