this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2026
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I’d say that you have at least a minimal duty to them until they’re 18, no matter what. Even if they’re in prison for killing your other child, for a really extreme example, you have a duty to ensure that they’re safe and their needs are being met as well as possible. You don’t have to shelter them from the police or anything, and I can understand if you no longer feel love for them, but you’re responsible for getting them to adulthood as best you can.
Of course, I wouldn’t judge anyone actually in that situation for disowning their child (or any number of other reactions that I would consider ethically wrong, but that’s because they’re in a truly awful situation and it makes sense to go a little crazy), but it’s the moral ideal I would shoot for.
If they’re in prison for an offense that truly justifies it, then they’re the in state’s custody, not yours.
If my child killed their sibling with intent and not some tragic accident they’d be dead to me too.
They’re definitely in the state’s custody, though depending on where they are and whether they have anyone paying attention to what happens to them, that can mean abominable “care.” Again, I wouldn’t judge anyone for turning their back on the person who killed their child, but I think that I would feel an obligation to try to make sure my child wasn’t beaten or starved in prison.
If you raise a murderer before the age of 18, then you might deserve some of the blame. I think parents and other older individuals should be responsible for the actions of youths. If your kid breaks something, you pay it. If you enlist 13-15 year olds for murders (yes, this is very prevelant in Europe at the moment), you should be responsible for the crime.