The Onion Journalists right now:
this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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Okay, unrelated to any of the absurd Trump nonsense, what movie is this from? Is that Mark Rufallo? Whoever he is, that character is my Spirit Animal
This is Pablo Escobar played by Wagner Moura in the show "Narcos". The first season was great!
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It is real!!??? Actually real??!
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-patriot-games/
Tbh this is probably something Trump, 79, will forget he said in a week or so and no one will take any action.
Oh no, there's going to be all sorts of government contracts paid out for this. THEN nothing will be done.
"There was no indication the Patriot Games would pit competitors against each other in a fight to the death, as of this writing." Lmaoo
Funny thing is, if they decided policy this way I'd guess it'd be more representative than the House of Representatives for California.
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yeah like that ball room
Wow, now even Snopes has the “give us your email for access” bullshit?! How disappointing.
I even turned off my adblocker for a bit to read this and there are so many pop ups after closing each one. The enshittification continues.
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Well he didn't say it per se, as he had an AI version of him announce it officially. Wish I was joking.
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It just never stops being relevant does it
If I were an Onion article writer, I'd probably have a mental breakdown. Who can come up with anything more Oniony than this??? (Wait until tomorrow for the answer, I guess.)
I read the headline and thought for sure it was the onion at first
Onion needs to rebrand and just be factual, real reporting now.
Nothing they can create is more absurd than this bizarre world we've found ourselves in.
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Is it a satire? At this point I seriously can't tell
i had to look it up too, he actually announced that
Nope
Yeah, of course it's a ...
WHAT?! THIS IS REAL?!
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Lord Fuckwad has decreed “Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make”
Ohwow
Farquaad (from shrek) == fuckwad
How have I missed that til now?
As I understand it, the head of Dreamworks at the time used to work at Disney, but had a falling out with the animation chief there and based the entire Farquaad character, and name, on him. Professional level pettiness.
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Congrats on being one of today's lucky 10,000!
With 50% men and 50% women? Isn't that woke nowadays?
Oh, I see... Young women... Now, it makes sense.
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It's the Torment Nexus over and over and over again. In fact, the re-inventing of the Torment Nexus has itself become a Torment Nexus.
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These people shouldn't be allowed within 100 feet of any teenagers.
Or any of the rest of us.
That’s some reality tv-ass thing to do.
are they going to be forced to kill each other or something? survivors get to be his sex slaves?
Nah, they would already to old probably. Remember he likes them on the young side.
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So he specifically included Puerto Rico and Washington DC?
Surprising, since inclusivity is woke.
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The Mara lago look definitely looks like the capital people in the hunger games
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Sure isn't those Epstein Files we deserve.
This is not at all the worst idea he's ever had
It actually sounds kinda nice.
Where's he getting the money for it though?
That. Is the question.
if it wasn't fascist bread and circus then by itself it isn't a bad idea.
in the context, it's a shitty idea, especially when the economy is collapsing, pedo files are illegally held, and ICE is at war with American cities.
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