this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
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Stop it, that's the big things
Aw man. Nothing better than the perfect apple. Crunchy and juicy. Sour and sweet.
The best apple I ever had was one time when I was 12 and explored the back of one of my neighbors' property where no human being usually went. All of a sudden, there was this small, but kinda old apple tree that seem to have been undisturbed for ages. It was early fall so the apples were ripe and BIG. I plucked one and took a bite and my God, that was the taste of summer. So so good. I genuinely don't think my neighbors knew they had an apple tree like that in the back of their property. They never really went outside and their property was an unkempt, overgrown mess. There is a likelihood that this tree sowed itself decades ago, considering how carelessly it was placed. If I wasn't so scared of them, I would have liked to ask those neighbors if they knew about their little tree.
This happened to me once but it was a nice lady with a little market outside her plants store that sold fruits and veggies. She was always so nice. One day I was walking by and out of the blue she was like "hey have a banana"
This is how they get you, the first one is always free.
Next thing you know, you're smoking apples on a park bench and sucking dick.
The first hit is always free.
They learnt from the best: drug dealers
I would say that drug dealers learned from sugar slavers, seriously look it up, but that gets into the argument that sugar could be considered a drug.....
Sugar, nutmeg, mace, and cotton basically are the things that "caused" the slave trade to expand as much as it did.
This reminds me of a book I read recently. A memoir of a local fox hunter in my area who was approached by an old sugar beet farmer who asked him that the foxes kept eating his beets and that it was kinda annoying. The fox hunter just thought the old man was senile and moved on. Later on he hear other sugar beet farmers complain about foxes stealing and eating sugar beets.
He ended up having to face the old farmer who shoved a sugar beet with fox-like bite marks in it and asked him if that wasn't fox teeth or what? And then the final confirmation happened when they found a fox digging up sugar beets and viciously eating them on the spot before digging up a new one and carrying it off to its den.
In the book it was used as an example of fox intelligence and their ability to adapt to changes their environment. That no matter what happens, the fox will always find a way to survive where other species don't have the same resilience.
Anyway, I just thought about the sugar addicted fox when I saw your comment and had to share haha.
The guy at the 711 gave me a free banana one day when I would only go in to buy energy drinks. Really threw me off, like do I look like I need fruit? Or was he just being nice? Was he just offloading the old nanas before the new shipment came in later that day? It's been like 5 months and I still think about it.
A little thing I love is people’s houses. There are always so many details that talk about their history, the present occupants, the place. I can pass in front of the same building every day and still notice something new.
I get incredible house-envy when I walk past. Hard to shake off
My mom watches those home-buyer shows. I can't. I just think about how I'd never be able to afford anything anywhere near that level. Then seeing people with ridiculous budgets complain about minor things they could easily change, like wallpapers or kitchen islands, feels like petty nonsense. I'm out here in a crappy, mouse-infested studio that I only managed to nab because I applied for it on the same day it was posted online - every other place already had wait lists, while I was living in my car.
It must be so nice to afford to have standards in living conditions.
So I do have a home now that I bought, but it's an overpriced shack that's falling apart if you breathe too loudly. I still feel the house envy.
I walk past other peoples homes and boil with rage at families who bought their homes 10years earlier for a fraction of the price I paid, with tiny affordable mortgages that apparently didn't entirely empty their wallets.
Best financial risk Ive ever taken, but the bitterness of seeing others doing better simply because they bought earlier doesnt go away.
And I know it's not their fault. They're technically in the same class as me, but a roll of the dice gave them a slightly easier life.
But the actual villains who orchestrated all this are nowhere to be seen.
The first sentence had me worried.
Lol! Did not mean it like that…
Rung cameras be like
fake - apples are the most mid-fruit in existence gay - talked to a woman
am i doing this right?
If you've only eaten Red Delicious I could see how one would have that take. Gotta branch out and try different ones. Fuji, Macintosh, Pink Lady etc.
There's an Apple for you out there.
One thing I love about my dad is his connection to and knowledge of nature. I have many memories of him bringing me random produce, slicing pieces off of them raw, and insisting I try them. Sometimes they'd be vegetables he got from his farmer friend, or something he grew in his garden that finally reached ripeness. Other times it'd be in-season fruits of different varieties, including non-standard apples. Macoun apples are one of his favorites, and always remind me of him.
You gotta hand it to Red Delicious apples, though, they sure are red.
Pink lady apples are scandalously good. Fuji too. Mmmmmmm. Apple.
Yeah Pink Lady are outrageously good. Store in the fridge. I normally preference crunch over taste, but Pink Lady has it all. A seriously good balance of sweet and sour, and arguably the best crunch in an apple.
The new varieties are amazing. Cosmic Crisps, Snap Dragons, EverCrisp.
They’re a mixed bag. Some are good, others less so. My family spent a summer taste testing and rating apple varieties. Fuck [Diesel] Sweeties and their horrible chemical flavor.
I also hate the artificial corporatized naming/branding of these apple varieties. Apples should never have a fucking registered trademark.
Someone cross bred all the main vareities and called it McDelicious Lady Red
No.
But 9.5/10.
You should try an apple stand in a Seattle farmers market. A dozen kinds of apple each more amazing than the last. A good apple stand's okay apples are several times better than the best grocery store apple
Grocery store apples in Seattle are actually pretty good, and the above statement still holds true.
I'm very partial to Cosmic Crisps. They were introduced into the market in 2019.
Snap dragons are really good, but I think they are only available in states around new York.
I miss apples so much. But when I eat them I bloat and fart worse than a Clydesdale..
Every now and then, when my spouse was away for the weekend I go for one of the older varieties with less Fructose, make some apple pancakes and toot away. It's worth it!
I have the same issue! I had to stop eating lactose, then gluten, and apples are the most recent. And I miss apples even more than I miss bread, which is saying a lot. I knew it was a fructose problem, but didn't think about apples with lower levels of fructose in them. I might have to look into that.
Holy shit this comment could have been written by me. Normally people have issues with lactose. Or gluten. Or FODMAPS. Nope. My stomach hates everything. Thank goodness for meat, rice, and eggs.
FYI I recently discovered I have bile acid malabsorption. It was a long road to diagnosis, but a lot of people with IBS have BAM. In the U.S. they just prescribe the medication and see if it helps. It helps me a LOT. To the degree I can eat small amounts of FODMAPs and lactose now. Just a piece of apple, but you know what? That's better than no apple. I'm down to 1-2 poops a day, and they look almost normal.
Bile acid malabsorption, eh? I need to look into that. I don't know much about malabsorption other than what I just found online, but it looks like there's overlap between IBS and malabsorption. Definitely worth looking into.
I'm autistic and suffer from hyper-vigilance which can absolutely cause IBS and other stomach issues, but maybe there's more here than I realized.
Each person is different but the medication is cheap and you can try it for a couple weeks and see if it helps.
Do you have malabsorption issues or do you have an intolerance? If it's a malabsorption, you can cheat a little by adding glucose.
The nutritionist in the hospital recommended to look into Elstar apple varieties. If they're not available in your area, I'm sure you'll find something similar :)
I think it's intolerance. I'm autistic so of course I have IBS. It seems like I just get worse at digesting things as I get older. I went to a GI doctor years ago and got a list of foods which commonly cause issues for people with IBS, and apples are on the list.
I will look into Elstar apples. I appreciate your response! Apples are my favorite fruit, and there's just no replacement for that crunch.
I grew up on a farm with my grandparents as (the only) neighbors. We had a few apple trees behind the house and my grandma used to preserve them and I swear on some days it was nearly the only thing we ate. Apples are awesome!
Feel you on the IBS and getting older part. Having to mask all the time (C-PTSD here) is definitely not helpful. I hope you find an apple variety you can.. tolerate enough to enjoy ᕦ(ಠ_ಠ)ᕤ
I don't know what they're putting in the Cosmic Crisps but those things are addicting af
love
I like to slice an apple, drizzle a little honey over the slices, and dip in peanut butter.
It's a perfect "I want something sweet" treat.