First Dev: "Oof. Uh...hm. Ok. So...no, give me a second, I'm thinking...So, the player character already has an attribute for a familiar that we're not using, since we removed familiars from the game. We could use that as a scarf, I think. One of the options was a tiger that walked next to the character, we could translate that up and around to the neck. Animation would be tough...could we come up with some reason why the scarf sticks to his shirt? ...no? How about a reason why it's always fluttering behind him? ...ok. So yeah, that should work...I think. We're a month out from code freeze, so we won't be able to do much with it other than put it in."

After launch

Project Manager: "Hey, people on Twitch have discovered that some of the player's clothes disappear randomly if you lose to the lich in level six...?"

Second Dev: "Weird. I'll take a look..."

Second Dev, in Slack: "Hey, does anyone know why all of the neck-slot customization items are coded as cats? Turns out the Dog Lich still deletes cat familiars if you lose to it."

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 minute ago

Oh man, this has really cracked me up. You made me laugh so hard I was at risk of waking up my housemates

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 hour ago

Also a cautionary tale on adding and removing features without plan or controls. Every 'hey could we add...? It's what everyones talking about!' is another step taken away from the design.

[–] Malgas@beehaw.org 17 points 4 hours ago

[–] LucidNightmare@anarchist.nexus 63 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Reminds me on how they had a single person (I think?) doing Batman’s cape for the Arkham games. That was their position, the person who makes the cape seem like a real piece of cloth.

I still think about how good the cape looked when flowing or in movement. They did an amazing job either way!

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 29 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

For Assassins Creed Black Flag they had an entire team of like 14 people just making sure the ocean looked pretty.

[–] BilSabab@lemmy.world 23 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

and then a decade later they did Skull and Bones and somehow it looks way way worse

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago

Different team.

[–] omega_x3@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago

That ocean looked amazing when the boat didn't load and there was hole in the ocean with some people and items floating above it.

[–] LucidNightmare@anarchist.nexus 5 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

That game was the best pirate game that nobody asked for, and it was a freaking Assassin’s Creed game! xD

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Only Assassin's Creed game I ever played. The worst part was the parts where you're in the present day and had to do some boring computer shit for some reason? During the whole time in those parts I was just angry and thinking "just let me be a pirate again FFS!"

[–] LucidNightmare@anarchist.nexus 1 points 2 hours ago

Yes, oh my god at the times they would bring you out of the Animus for some shitty present day story that wasn’t nearly as interesting as the in Animus story!

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

All they had to do was remove all the bits that made it an Assassin's Creed game and it would've been perfect. But they did Skull & Bones instead. It's like they hate easy money.

[–] LucidNightmare@anarchist.nexus 3 points 4 hours ago

Seriously! I think that’s true about most companies these days. They literally go the worst route possible 90% of the time.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 153 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

I had a client who thought I was a miracle worker for changing the color of every link on the site in under an hour.

Then he got mad because it took me three days to add one field to a form.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 100 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Most people cannot begin to comprehend that just having the field on the form doesn’t magically make it do anything. Like, yeah, I can add a field to the form in five minutes, but if you want it to actually work, it’ll take time.

[–] JordanZ@lemmy.world 20 points 4 hours ago

Design mock ups are the bane of my existence.

What do you mean it’ll take 6 months…you have almost all the work done in your demo.

I made some buttons that navigate between pages that have laid out controls on them. Other than those specific navigations…nothing works.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 50 points 6 hours ago

Dotcom days, my company charged a venue $30k for an "emergency change" to disable a form and all links to it.

The dev already had a system switch for it. $30k, 10-second change.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 70 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

a {
    color: pink;
}

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 57 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

And then you realize that the previous programmer abused the anchors to build all of the buttons.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 34 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

And 50% of the styles are marked as !important

[–] SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev 21 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Hey it's not my fault, this project was started in 2018 and they choose to use bootstrap.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 11 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Oh god I didn’t expect that to give me the level of PTSD flashback that it did.

Fuck bootstrap with a rusty pitchfork.

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[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 52 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

To be fair to the client, I, as a programmer, often struggle to estimate tasks with accuracy, and am very often at a loss at even explaining to co-workers why some things are easy and others impossible.

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 55 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

I once just asked how long if would take them to swap the chair and the table, and how long it would take to swap the window and that pillar. After all, it's just moving stuff around. They understood after that.

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 36 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Careful, that table is critical for getting airflow over that server in the corner. If you move the table it will overheat and cause a cascade of failures and bankrupt the entire company.

[–] Chronographs@lemmy.zip 30 points 7 hours ago

And that’s a load bearing chair.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 points 7 hours ago

I like that metaphor. I'm gonna use it next time I have to talk to a non-technical.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 102 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 14 points 7 hours ago

I've never felt more called out.

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 85 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (14 children)

I'm sad that the relevant xkcd is kinda obsolete now (because it's been long enough for that research team to finish doing its thing).

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 26 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Google photos is alarmingly good at object and individual recognition. It'll probably be used by the droid war killbots to distinguish "robot" from "human with bucket on head."

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 hours ago

Not a hot dog

[–] white_nrdy@programming.dev 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

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[–] Tahl_eN@lemmy.world 38 points 8 hours ago (5 children)

I appreciate the joke, but the rules are exactly why they go "oof". The scarf has higher requirements for precision and a more constant overhead than a one-off giant summon.

You could make them go "oof" on the summon if you added a requirement that the lava properly flow along the ground and interact with all characters near the event.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 15 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

The scarf has higher requirements for precision and a more constant overhead than a one-off giant summon.

I mean, there's a scarf.

And then there's a scarf

You could make them go “oof” on the summon if you added a requirement that the lava properly flow along the ground and interact with all characters near the event.

I think the better question is "How many polygons do you want and what do you want them to do?"

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 15 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

Real time simulation of fabrics is a ongoing field of study. It has years of research behind it.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

The physics of knitting is so complicated that SciShow fucked it up and had a bunch of people mad at them.

Textiles are complicated crazy wonderful things. The drape of a fabric is going to be related to the materials it’s made of (cotton, linen, wool, acrylics and polyesters, blends of all of the above and more to various percentages…) as well as just the process of making.

Woven is very sturdy and doesn’t stretch. You can’t unwind the whole thing by getting it caught on something. Your jeans and slacks are probably made of woven material, because otherwise you’d accidentally lose your pants to the bump of a nail in a chair or something.

Knit stretches, but accidentally bump into a door hinge and you’ve unraveled a good chunk of your sweater. It’s good at moving though. Most things are done on knitting machines in “stockinette” stitches - look for little ‘v’ shapes.

Gotta keep in mind that the upkeep of clothing was something people use to be spend several hours a week on - beyond just laundry. Weaving takes forever and it’s not particularly exciting. Just imagine how many outfits you’d have in 1600 BC or 1600 AD versus now.

It’s just really crazy that we are all surrounded by billions of tiny fibers that were twisted into single strands that then become fabrics that then become clothes. Each stage presents uniquely complex and beautiful physics problems.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 10 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Generally simulated fabrics look good as long as it is flapping in the wind like a flag and has no chance of interacting with any other objects, such as the person wearing a scarf.

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[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 11 points 7 hours ago

Don't forget the magnificent scarf in Shinobi (PS2)

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