Microblog Memes

Screw that, make Modesty Blaise

• Is her own character, so wouldn't get labeled "the female James Bond."

• Has a cooler back story than James Bond

• Has a cool cast of supporting characters

• Is canonically awesome at martial arts, but will use guns when pressed

• Already has a bunch of books and comics to use as source material

• Has at least as many sexual adventures as Bond

• Has a long-time male partner with whom she is emphatically not in a romantic relationship or a Will-they-won't-they situation

But why lesbian though? Shouldn't she just fuck twinks and make them straight

This is fire. Support Women's Wrongs, not just their Rights

If, and only if, no one ever references the rest of the Bond canon jokingly. Everyone just plays it perfectly straight. No nods at the camera, nothing. Just like we all looked past the Bond actor changing in the past, everyone is just like "Yeah. That's Bond."

Hell, have her leave flowers at Tracy's grave.

I'd totally watch this in theaters. Also hot. But also fuck vodka martinis. Toxic lesbian James bond would drink pure gin, call it a martini and the only thing she's eaten that day is about 30 olives and some pussy. She may have some olive juice in her gin solely to make a pass at the bartender by calling it dirty.

Legit A+ take

huh, I thought they had kind of moved away from the most toxic womanizing features of him. Not eliminated, but more reasonable?

Let's take it one step further, and we have precedent in the 1980s:

A recent video of a magician and a singer has made me realize how much I really want to see this.

One deeply underrated aspect of this post is a woman taking the name James. Women have taken Leslie, and Ashley, and so many other names. But James, an apostle, the brother of Christ! If this can happen, then women can take Paul, even Peter. Because why not!

Is there anything wrong with making another franchise?

Sooooo, Atomic Blonde?

This, but make it a new IP. Not to "protect" the integrity of the Bond franchise, but because I just want to watch something without being reminded of a different thing.

Basically Atomic Blonde

I haven't been to the theaters in a decade or more, but I would show up to see Tig Notaro as Bond. Or maybe Leslie Jones?

Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.

This looks like a job for a jacked, alt Aussie.

Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is... Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.

You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.

Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.

She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.

More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.

https://www.euronews.com/culture/2026/04/01/so-long-daniel-craig-the-identity-of-the-new-james-bond-has-been-revealed

I wanna see Idris Elba as Bond. He's cool as fuck and looks great in a tuxedo or suit.

But a woman Bond would be fun, too, if they were just like the OG Bonds. Make Chris Hemsworth Moneypenny.

Take the ambition, but not by stealing the name.

Most “female version of” media I’ve seen ends up being derided, in Marvel, in games, etc. Take the fun concepts you’d feel from seeing this Bond parody, and ideally use it to build up a fresh, cohesive character from scratch - an experienced spy who gets chewed out by her superiors for getting drunk on the job and banging too many women, but gets the job done well.

At first I was like "no" then I got to the second paragraph. I'd watch this for sure.

I was born for this role

We could also do all of that in an original IP. Why does it always has to be a reboot or a sequel or a remake or any other regurgitation

I want to see a female Duke Nukem.

Hollywood hasn't had a fresh idea since 1913. It's all retread ideas.

So I say push the Black Widow. The character is already its own thing. Smart, skilled, powerful. The lesbian angle is good. Womanizing sells in Hollywood heros. Maybe have her fight an evil gang of TERFs or something.

Think of what Q could do with menstrual products.

Detonate a maxi pad. Floatation tampon. Garrote tampon. Chloroform pads.