this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 87 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

And don't even get me started on how we drive on parkways and park in driveways.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Or how shipments travel by car and cargo travels by ship.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Car go ship? No, car go road.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Car go road? No car go beep beep… you okay buddy??

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You cook bacon, but you bake cookies.

[–] Rebels_Droppin@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Jon's definitely having a stroke

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You can bake bacon, but you can not cook cookies.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually tipfinger is what your mom calls that thing I do to her butt.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Just the tip?

[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Where are the Germans in this thread? I'm pretty sure they have a word for your tippy toes.

[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Yep, for us its the same. Fingertips are 'Fingerspitzen' and the tips of your toes are 'Zehenspitzen', whereas "Spitzen" literally translates to 'tips'

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago

Whoa there's a paw track emoji? Nice.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

-"Spitz on my tip!"

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The fuck do you mean you don't have toetips? Do your toes not end?

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pretty brave of you to admit openly that you don't have endless toes.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago

I come from a long and proud line of endtoes.

[–] Dalvoron@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 month ago

You may not have toetips, but you do have tippy-toes.

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also like, they call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing.

[–] DrWorm@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago

Oh wait, there they go…

[–] Heavybell@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Your toes do have toetips, just nobody gives a shit about them.

[–] Karmanopoly@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shove your toes in a politicians face and all of a sudden the whole police force cares about em now

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

If only that were true, the world would be a slightly less weird place.

[–] prasadCode58@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How high were you when you were thinking about this logic ?

[–] ReginaPhalange@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

high how were you

Oh pretty good n you?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My tongue has a tip, you wanna see what I can do with that?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Joker_1902@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago

It’s too late for this shit. Take my upvote

[–] mech@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I won't tip toes for simply doing their job.

Toes deserve fair compensation but I wish they'd just price it into the bill.

[–] w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jokes on you. I cut my fingertips off.

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

Then the new spot is your finger tips

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 3 points 1 month ago

"Captain Sparrow, who is robbing me and what are they taking while you're here beguiling me?"

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

You can tip toe because toes aren't tipped. Likewise you can't tip finger because they are already tipped. 🙃

[–] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 2 points 1 month ago

You can't tipfinger because you're already using your finger tips, but your toe tips are not in use anywhere else, and therefore exclusively used for tiptoeing.

[–] Sualtam@lemmus.org 1 points 4 weeks ago

My toes have tips. Maybe you should go see a doctor.