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Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
RULES:
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I have so little sympathy for the white collar hiring crisis. Society has allowed the emails class to become too bloated.
This kindergarten for adults shit is out of hand. I'm almost shocked at how many commenters are so inured to being patronized that they're supporting this instead of being offended.
"Oh wow, my boss is drowning in this beautiful river!" "Oh, look! Those cute ducklings are eating his heart! So cuuuuute!"
Say both of those on a Monday when you come in and your goals are all met!
sounds like a joke or lighthearted attempt at socializing.
"Hey, don't you love the nature surrounding us, which you are prohibited from interacting with during the length of your contractual obligations with us?"
Not really, but it beats the fuck out of the interstate that runs by mine.
"Look at that fucking river out there. Thinks its so cool. Just moving pop cans and fish shit past the window. Stupid fucking river."
Just spam "from the river to the sea" all day every day.
I'd sure like to jump off a bridge into that river!
I see people badmouthing this but it sounds like a case of 1. It's easy to forget and stop seeing the beauty that you see every day and 2. A lighthearted corporate goal stated to try to get people to come together and just take a moment to appreciate some of nature's beauty
Yea, I don't see the problem with this. I have annual goals at work. If this was an official goal for me, I'd be thrilled. Easy exceeded expectations for that one.
I see what they tried to go for, but enforcing stuff like that is not good. Because forced good feelings always just do the opposite.
I mean, corporate goals aren't always tracked or enforced. Officially stated corporate goals and values are used to help set priorities and culture, and including a goal of appreciating the environment the office is located in can be referenced in political pushes to further improve the workplace, such as encouraging (paid) early release on especially nice days, or setting up workplace picnics or even a workplace volunteer day. Or it can simply be a half-jokingly stated goal to take a moment to breath and appreciate the world around you that's entirely untrackable and unenforceable
they hired guards to patrol the office and record comments on the river to ensure each worker met their quota
Who said this is even tracked, let alone enforced? Drawing the conclusion that it's enforced seems like a bit of a leap.
That said, if my boss said that to me it would probably sit poorly with me in the moment purely because I just want to focus on my job and GTFO, I don't particularly want to pine for outside when I'm stuck anyways. It's corny and not particularly inspiring, but nothing wrong with it on its face. If somebody was clocking such things that's a huge "find another corporate wage slave camp to sink your labor into" flag.
A company goal, set with exact numbers? That does sound like quite a bit more coercion than a simple "Guys, look at the cool river we have here. Let's be grateful for the good things we have."
They said it was a Q2 goal. It will definitely be tracked and not participating will be held against you.
If I'm going to be ground down by the corporate machine for money, I don't need them taunting me with what I can't have anymore.
the beatings will continue until appreciation improves.
The river brings life. The river brings prosperity.
You have to be kind of a fucked up person if you can't appreciate the river.
Rotting in the mines is probably where you belong if you can't appreciate the river.
Just say "Water wet" every time they ask you to fill the quota
"Imagine diving down to the bottom, expelling all the air from your lungs, and just waiting for the river's sweet embrace to take you. I hear it's a surprisingly peaceful way to go. I yearn for that with all my being. Monday mornings, eh? Do these windows open?"
Drowning isn't peaceful. There's ways of asphyxiation that are surprisingly peaceful, but drowning isn't one of them, not even when done well.
But also, don't die to escape from a job. You can escape normally. It's usually really easy to do: they let you go home, just don't come back. Go do literally anything else.
I was proposing a hypothetical thing to say to a hypothetical boss who hypothetically inflicted such a commandment.
Don't worry about me, I'm a self-employed consultant working three days a week and now winding down to my retirement with a bunch of low stress side-hustles. But I appreciate the concern. I hope your weekend is surprisingly full of joy and wonder!
Later during performance review:
"I noticed you are having issues staying on task; you need to minimize the distractions around you to make sure this doesn't become problematic for work"
she doesn't like being forced to do asinine tasks from a dough brain and at least in the mines your doing something productive and not being a stupid idler like all of society has devolved into lately. a few of the comments on here suggest that a fair few people didn't get that
This is being hyperbolic, but at least the lordes and tyrants of the past used to just steal your food or murder you.
These modern replacements like playing with their food.
That's... actually kinda cute? I mean, it has a Michael Scott vibe to it? Like he's trying really hard to get them to appreciate the river? I believe I might be overusing the questionmark? Oh my god I can't stop? Send help?
Here have some more in case you run out -???????????????????????
Edit: Removed the question mark that was used in Seth's comment below.
Thank you?
Just don't use them all in one place.
Why commit to an opinion when everything can just be a question.