this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2026
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"They think there's something wrong with me, but I really just can't get this horrible taste off my tongue. I dunno what that guy ate whose ass I was licking, but uhhggg!
"Oh wait. That was my ass, wasn't it?"
My cat needs this.
meeeee
After I took an ADHD examination, I was turning my results in to the receptionist. I said "I think I did pretty good, yeah?" and they replied "you and your doctor will have a lot to talk about".
Ah... I see...
My test administrator genuinely laughed while I was doing the test because I couldn't stop asking questions/making comments about it.
Apparently that specific test is administered with a human present for exactly that reason. Clear as day indicator of Overactive Brain Disorder.
I was diagnosed at 5 originally but didn't have any records of it because I stopped medication at 13, the earliest age my parents would listen to me about how bad I felt on medication (was on a super high dose they wouldn't even give me as an adult, no wonder I hated it) and then raw-dogged the next 20 years, so they skipped a lot of the truly basic stuff and went right for a confirmation test of impulse control. Of which I have absolutely none.
that specific test is administered with a human present for exactly that reason
I knew it! God damn it.
Ayy this sounds like my origins story! Starting dose of 64mg of Concerta and I never felt well or could sleep. Gained weight which my parents shamed me for (nice). Since they expected me to grow out of ADHD at 18, I stopped meds and raw dogged it until my early 30s. Check my post history for how that went.
Mine was 45mg methylphenidate (as ritilin) time release in the morning and 15mg after school. For a total daily dose of 55mg, (which is more than the 35mg max daily dose they’d give me now as an adult, and way more than the 18mg I actually take occasionally). I was 90lbs until I started cheeking it at 11-12, and got punished both for not eating dinner AND for “stealing” food from the fridge at 11pm when it all finally wore off and I got desperately hungry (also for cheeking the pills but that’s its own problem). Thanks for the food issues, fam. They work so well that living with people makes me feel guilty in my own house!
Sorry we both dealt with shit.
This unlocked a core memory of me sneaking down to the pantry at 11pm-1:00am when I was hungry too! My parents would sometimes catch me and that was a whole performance. I had forgotten about all that. Crazy how similar people's experiences are. Fortunately we're both out of those situations now
I told the guy present during my test that I'd love to bite the pencil, stab the questionaire with it and then shred the papers and form them into tiny balls to throw at him. He took some notes.
When I was in school the had us do this mental health / stress questionnaire. It was graded something like less than 20 your pretty stress free, 20-40 average stress level, 40-60 high stress, 60+ you should seek professional help dealing with stress.
I got 97... In the previous 2 years, my father got cancer, died, my mother lost her job, family dog died, I failed a class. Each of them was 15 points and there were some minor ones I also check off. I was taken out of class, had meeting with principal guidance counselor and mother and the school required me to see a psychiatrist... surprise that series of events didn't lower my stress
So kind of like this?
Yes
Can we just go to the theater?I hear there's a new play "gay the musical"...
Leg disabled.
Okay but seriously. Is this like golf scoring or...?
Hate that shit. Just as bad as THAC0.
Nothing. Is as bad. As THAC0.
You say that, but you've never seen my homebrewed freeform spellcasting ruleset.
I would like to
If you're sure. It's built for One Roll Engine, where basically stat+skill = d10s rolled for matches. The face value and count of your matched rolls both mean different things, e.g swinging a sword rolling four 2s happens early in the turn and hits pretty hard, but you got them in the leg. It's a fun system and easy to homebrew for, but hardly anyone plays it.
... Hmm, my cloud stuff is badly incomplete. I'll have to fire up scrivener on my old computer later this morning. Unless I've changed your mind lol
Thaco Tuesday?
4 words: roll for anal circumference.
They are most likely referring to the PHQ-9 questionnaire. 25/27 is not great, indicating severe symptoms.
Maybe it's one of those extremely unsubtle tests with questions like "True/false: You feel a nearly irresistible compulsion to gouge someone's eyes out when you don't like how they're looking at you."
It's most likely the one you're given each time you go for a physical (or at least, we are where I live) - it's more like:
In the past week, how often have you...
- Worried about the future
- Felt that you can't do anything right
- Had trouble focusing on common tasks
- Felt hopeless or depressed
- ...etc
with options like "Never", "Rarely", "Most days", "Almost all of the time"
worrying about the future should be taken off the test
I'd be more concerned if someone isn't worried about the future, to be honest.
Subject is very optimistic about the future and not worried at all... Investigating for cognitive disability or psychosis, possibly drug induced
Worry about what you have control over, prepare for the rest.
Or my favorite for low-income jobs for quite a while now they have had questionnaires with all sorts of questions like I often think about murdering my coworkers, all the time, some of the time, almost never, and never. Sometimes I think about murdering my boss, never, almost never, most of the time, and all the time. I did murder my boss and so forth.
It's so just obvious and everything it makes you wonder what insurance douchebag came up with that and forced these grocery stores and the like to use that for lower rates which is how it happens.
I once filled out a 20-question ADHD screening test. At the bottom it said if I answered Yes to more than two questions I might have ADHD. I answered Yes to all except two.
What were some of the questions?
"Have u got ADHD?"
IDK it was like 20 years ago.
That feeling when you answer a question and the doc gets all quiet...
Anyone else think of this lol?
Bring back beans!
The original internet currency!
Beans4life