this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2026
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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 6 points 1 day ago

Oh so that's why he's incontinent, it's the evil witches.

[–] nanometer1625@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago

One of them needs to hurry up and cast fireball.

[–] flop_leash_973@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Stupid sexy witches

[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 94 points 2 days ago (24 children)

A coven of witches cast harmful spells on a person day and night.

He becomes president of the USA, then a billionaire. He avoids jail time for serious crimes.

Wow, the power of witchcraft is staggering

[–] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 31 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Well, see, normally those evil spells would have reduced him to a gibbering idiot barely clinging to his health, but thanks to the constant prayers of good Christian MAGAs he is shielded by Jesus and remains an articulate stable genius in record breaking good health just as GOD ordained him to be.

barf

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I know it's a joke, but the temptation to create a highly-targeted advertising campaign on Facebook soliciting "prayers for Trump" in exchange for cash from braindead boomers is really hard to ignore.

Like I know it's very morally wrong in general, and certainly unethical any way you slice it, but is it really still wrong if you're pointing those extremely granularly targeted ads toward people who definitely helped to screw us all over? (e.g. older folks in deep-red, HCOL areas who have high incomes and list Christianity as a personal interest)

[–] matlag@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Oh come on! We all know that this idea will be immediately converted to "prayers from Trump in exchange of cash" so that he can rip off his followers once more!

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[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/etsy-witch-charlie-kirk-curse-b2836089.html

I mean... just like any other skill, some witches are better at it than others.

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago

Damn. When will it start working?

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[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 85 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Does that mean conservative Christians admit the president is not of sound mind?

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 days ago

admit

lolololol

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[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Clearly these witches powers are waining, is there anyway we can help?

[–] Sharkticon@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean honestly if you're not supporting at least two Etsy witch covens then what are you doing with your life?

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

There are an odd amount of witches on etsy....

[–] TwodogsFighting@lemdro.id 5 points 1 day ago

Always three, there are.

[–] DrSoap@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

It just sucks that the one who did Kirk retired

[–] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 6 points 2 days ago

Assume they operate on the theory that magic helps those that help themselves

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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean the whole "conservative christians are crazy" is pretty well established and whatnot. This should be to no-ones surprise. Yet at the same time:

Witches? Really? That's the thing you're concerned about? In todays day and age where goosestepping idiots are robbing the world. Where the planet is literally on fire.

And you're worried some people might be wishing ill on mister wannabe hitler the pedo-rapist conman over there?

Let alone you're automatically assuming this about someome you dissagree with politically.

PROVE IT.

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Careful now, historical witch trials have famously been fatally weighted against the accused...

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 43 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are they trying to make me like AOC even more?

[–] nothingcorporate@lemmy.today 6 points 2 days ago

Yup, I can take the 2pm shift on Wednesdays... Where do I sign up? 🧙

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[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why isn’t she more impactful at this??

[–] TechnicallyWrite@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Putin has more power over pedophile Trump.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Which does not mean much, as "Conservative Christian" is a sure sign of insanity.

[–] wrinkle2409@lemmy.cafe 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think it's about time we grow out of religious thinking

[–] HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Problem is they don't like birth control. By design.

[–] BooBees@fedinsfw.app 8 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Then let’s educate the heck out of their kids

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[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There is an actual book on how to curse Trump I have seen it.

Is that the one where he raped a child and she bit his dick so he hit her?

[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm close with a wiccan priestess and I can assure you AOC has nothing to do with the endeavor

[–] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 2 points 1 day ago

Thus explaining why it doesn't work.

[–] Techromantik@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If you figure out, let me know. I could use a coven, especially one with such noble goals.

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[–] lIlIlIlIlIlIl@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Conservative Christians - the ones who are so Nationalist?

Nat-C’s, if you will

Nice. She has my vote.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago

Not being terribly effective, unfortunately.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

Religion is a mental illness.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

🫡 thanks for your service

[–] atrielienz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I want to contribute to this go fund me.

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[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

They just reuse stuff, used to be larry nickles talking about hillary clinton going to witch church, a church for witches, witches... witches

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[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In a postindustrial society, in the third decade of the 21st century of the common era, a plurality of the population believe in witchcraft.

This is why I have little to no hope for our future.

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[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 days ago
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